Finding Balance

Finding Balance

Being raised as a Jehovah’s Witness dictated how I perceived God and religion. When I began high school I took philosophy, psychology, and science classes and they opened my mind to different ways of thinking about religion. But it wasn’t until I saw my parents argue about how a Jehovah’s Witnesses can do and not do that opened my eyes to exploring the rules of being a Witness. Trying to live a good and honest life is required of all Jehovah’s witnesses, and the rules by we follow for this to be achieved is misinterpreted by people. The misinterpretation led to my researching my religion and questioning it, as a result I am no longer a witness. I myself have kept what I believe are the endearing qualities of a Jehovah’s Witness as part of my daily life.

The rules for Jehovah’s Witnesses are misunderstood by people all the time and it’s frustrating sometimes. The biggest misunderstanding is how a Witness celebrates holidays. Some witnesses don’t celebrate any pagan holiday, but that is not a custom every Witness must follow. Witnesses can celebrate the holidays with friends and family as long as their faith remains intact. It’s believed in the truth, our body of faith, that the holidays are a way to distract people from God through worldly possessions and activities. Growing up I had a hard time understanding why Jehovah’s Witnesses couldn’t celebrate holidays. Seeing all my friends enjoying these times of peace never seemed as a negative to me. I now understand, through my religion, the reason behind not celebrating holidays, but I disagree with fully ignoring all holidays. As I know now the holidays have always been about spending time with your family and appreciating each other’s company.

When I was young, my family didn’t celebrate the holidays. As I got older my mother softened up to the idea of the holidays after frequent talks with her about how my sister and I understood, but we knew our faith wouldn’t be changed by engaging in the holidays. My father isn’t a Jehovah’s Witness and was a Marine for twenty-two years, and for my mother to be married to a man that isn’t in the same religion and serve the military is frowned upon in the religion. My father always tried to celebrate the holidays and my mother wouldn’t allow it. The constant struggle between my parents about the rules of being a Jehovah’s Witness is what made me talk to my mother about celebrating holidays.

My family and I were out at Lowes picking up some things to fix the backyard. My father was walking around with my sister when she saw a Christmas tree covered in decorations, she told him that it looked really pretty and she wanted one. The smile that came on my father’s face was quickly gone when my mother walked up and told my sister that it is pretty but we can’t have it in the house because it’s a decoration for Christmas. My father soon after got a bit of an attitude and started arguing with my mother, saying that it isn’t right to not let us experience Christmas, that it was a way to have the family get together and have fun. Seeing them argue and discuss the confusion with our religion made me curious about challenging the rules and trying to understand why they were in place. I understood my father’s point of view, why not get together as a family around this time and enjoy what it has to offer, as a family.

My father always wanted a tree in the house with lights and decorations. My mother always refused. After a few incidents of my parents arguing over getting one my dad eventually stopped asking. I was about 15 when my sister and I decided to ask our mother to get a tree. She of course said no several times, but we thoroughly explained it was for family purposes, to a way to get together as a family and have fun. My mother eventually said yes on the condition that it was not too big and we did not put ornaments on it, we agreed and told our father. After my sister and I convinced our mother that we should celebrate Christmas my father smiled in relief that he could take us to buy a tree and wrap presents. My dad took my sister and I right away to goo tree shopping. I have seen my father smile before but this time was different. He didn’t grow up in the greatest of conditions as a kid but did celebrate Christmas growing up so he knew the joy of celebrating Christmas as a family. The smile he had on showed how much he wanted to share the joy he had celebrating Christmas growing up with us.

We’ve always received presents from our parents on Christmas day but they were never wrapped. This new experience shared with my entire family was wonderful. Putting up the tree and decorating it with ornaments was sublime. My mother graciously joined in with decorating and I saw, for the first time, how the holidays bring the family together. Looking at the tree was beautiful, laughing at funny jokes and stories while. My faith wasn’t deterred by Christmas, it became stronger. As I grew older and began to learn other rules of a Jehovah’s Witness, I started challenging my own faith.

A Jehovah’s Witness is not to accept military service, no Jehovah’s Witness can work for any industries associated with the military, and Jehovah’s Witnesses believe they transcend national boundaries and ethnic loyalties. A problem I have with today. My father served this country proudly for twenty-two years. How he progressed through the ranks of a Marine was astounding. He was only twenty-two years old when he was given his own squad to lead. He loves the United States and its flag and would die protecting them. Being in the marines taught him respect and honor, to always remain faithful. It taught him discipline in his everyday life, all qualities that he has been passed onto my sister and I. I struggled as a teenager with my father about not accepting the military. To be honest I wasn’t sure why, I only rejected government because it was what I was taught as a Jehovah’s Witness. All I understood was that Jehovah’s Witnesses are not supportive of the military. Looking back now it was never a true reason to not acknowledge the military.

I would see my father hurt by my neglect of the United States; I wasn't allowed to salute the flag or sing the national anthem. He was hurt because being a Marine was his life, what he was proud of and not being able to share it with me hurt him. My father respected our religion and its rules so as a precaution he choose not to really talk about his military life. Growing up I became more curious about his military life and would try to ask him. Most of the time he was wouldn’t want to talk about it but one day he opened up to me about his involvement. From the stories he told me about his time spent in the military I learned that he believes in fighting for the rights of United States citizens. As I learned about the United States History my viewpoints on government and the rule of rejecting the government as a Witness conflicted. I no longer believed that it’s something I should shun, my father helped me understand for myself that I may not believe in how the government works but the men and women that fight for this country should always be appreciated. I am proud of my father, Master Gunnery Sergeant William Galeas, for serving as a Marine and fighting for his family and the families of others. I salute the flag and sing the anthem proudly. It may not be what is accepted of a Jehovah’s Witness but my faith is still intact and being proud of my father won’t change that. 

Jehovah’s Witnesses are believed to purposely separate themselves from those who aren’t members. The same rule of keeping our standards of morality in tact applies here as well. We are allowed to talk to whomever we choose, there is no rule that we must only talk to other Witnesses. We must always keep our faith and not be distracted by anything or anyone that will keep us from following Jehovah the right way. I have always had friends that weren’t a Witness and have never had a problem. In some cases I have had friends who are Jehovah’s Witnesses and are too sheltered. Their social skills are awkward and have a hard time with communicating with others. I myself am very sarcastic and invited a friend who is a Jehovah’s Witness over to hang out with my friends and play some video games. My friends and I joked around with each other and my friend that I invited at times thought we were being serious with each other. Periodically I had to explain to him that we were only joking. Again there are some Witnesses that don’t talk to people outside of our religion but to me that seems to go against the morals of Jehovahs Witnesses. Neglecting people who are not the same religion as you is discriminatory and it’s not how I choose to interact with others.

The ethics and morality of being a Jehovah’s Witness is something that will never fade from my life. Though there are some things I don’t agree with its how we must treat others and respect ourselves that I believe and live. We must be modest, peaceful, and not lie. Gambling, tobacco, and illegal drugs are not acceptable by any means. I try my best to remain modest and humble. I always treat others with respect and kindness. Though my sarcasm is something I struggle with at times I keep it modest. I firmly believe in treating other the way you would want to be treated. Not lying is something I admire about being a Witness, no matter what sort of trouble I may get into I can’t bring myself to lie. Everyone of course does, but the moderation in the severity of the lie should never be outrages. Drinking as a Jehovah’s Witness is supposed to be in respectful moderations. I myself honestly don’t follow that rule. I enjoy having a really great time with my friends, whether it be sober or intoxicated I have created memories and made friends that will last me a lifetime, it’s something I personally can never frown upon.  A few ethic rules of being a Jehovah’s Witness I strongly disagree with.

Homosexuality is considered a serious sin within the Jehovah’s witnesses’ organization; same-sex marriage is forbidden; and abortion is considered murder. Through meeting a vast variety of people and viewpoints I have built my own understanding of homosexuality, same-sex marriage, and abortion. One of my dear best friends is gay and I have never looked at him as committing a serious sin. I would never reject a friend because of my faiths rules on sexual preferences. Everyone, no matter what faith, gender, color, or sexual preference should be denied the rights of others.

I have had friends who are Jehovah’s Witnesses stop talking to their friends who have come out over the years.  A dear friend of mine had come out and I had no problem with it, I was happy that he was able to publicly be open about who he is. My friend who is a Witness asked me if I still hung out with him, I said of course, why wouldn’t I, and he told me he could no longer be associated with me because I support homosexuality. It didn't make me angry that he wanted to stop talking to me, it made me pissed of that he would seriously find that if someone is gay then ties to them must be instantly cut off. I will never agree with that viewpoint of Jehovah’s Witnesses.

Abortion will always be debatable, but the same way everyone has their freedom, a women shouldn’t be judged or shunned because of how she chooses to control her body. There have been women in the congregation I was in that were expelled, meaning they would not allow said person to remain a Jehovah’s Witness, because they decided to have an abortion. There will always be those who agree and disagree with abortion but to tell someone they have made a mistake and can no longer be a Witness is wrong.

 I am glad that my mother has truly softened how she applies the rules of being a Jehovah’s Witness to her life. We happily celebrate the holidays as a family and with friends. Our faith is still intact and has truly grown stronger through spending holidays with our friends and family. As of today I would not consider myself a Jehovah’s Witness. How I choose to enjoy my life with my friends and family will not be dictated by the rules of a religion. 

I may have a few problems with the rules I have been taught but how I must live my life through happiness and truthfulness is admirable. My family alone has opened my mind to looking for my own path of following my faith and keeping the rules of Jehovah Witness I fell most admirable present in me at all times. My faith was confusing to others due to the neglect of holidays, personal preference, and rejecting government. I have seen the confusion first hand and can say that each Witness handles their faith differently, as does anyone within their religion. Living a happy and truthful life through religion or personal choice is what anyone should strive for. My mother remains strong within her faith and has roughly accepted that I don’t faithfully remain a Jehovah’s Witness. My personal understanding of faith right now is always growing. I won’t reject the ideas of other religions because they don’t reflect what I believe in. Keeping my mind and heart open to other religions has left me with peace and served my life well.